The Dark Tower- Was Not “Alright, Alright Alright”

We’re back, after a long hiatus vacationing in the Netherlands Antilles, and waging war on the current wererabbit epidemic, we finally found the time to watch and review The Dark Tower.

For those that don’t know this film is an adaptation of Stephen King’s series “The Dark Tower. It follows the adventures of Roland Deschain (Idris Elba), Jake Chambers, (Tom Taylor), and they are pitted up against Walter Padick (“Dazed and Confused” alumni Mathew McConaughey).

I have read the books, and it would honestly be very unfair to compare this two hour film to eight novels. I could go on and on about, but won’t waste our mutual time (yet you continue to read this review). I also won’t give away any spoilers or bitch and moan about how The Gunslinger isn’t a black guy in the books…

This film starts off SLOOOOOOW. Sadly, it’s one of those that you expect to see action right from the start. You wish it would, but you don’t get it. But, maybe they were trying to go along with Stephen King’s writing style, (which is great btw).

Throughout the film you get put on edge about seeing something great, but then your hopes are dashed to bits, as this film fails to entertain in brilliant fashion.

The story itself was kinda, meh, and I expected to see a little bit more of thr greatness that the books portrayed.

The action (or lack of) was lackluster to say the least, and the some of the acting came off as hokey. McConaughey was fine being cast as the villain but came across as very dry and the way he ever pronounced some of his dialogue was a bit upsetting to say the least.

Writing in this was on the bad side of  “meh”. But the acting was pretty good overall.

Ok, that all being said, the good parts: Idris Elba was good, his portrayal of Roland wasn’t brilliant, but you were convinced of who he was. Tom Taylor couldn’t have done a better job but honestly, I felt that his character could have had a larger role in story progression. (I mean if you were tasked with saving the world in a film, you’d think that you had more to do). Overall the acting was done well. Everyone fit the parts they were cast in.

I went in to this with a truly open mind, honestly. I did. But I hate to say that the best parts of the film were in the trailer.

I hoped to see something great, that I hadn’t seen before. That unfortunately wasn’t the case. We deserved to see something as grand as the books were but one’s budget can only go so far. It was kinda like being read a story when you’re little at bedtime and they make you go to sleep before the story got good…then they switched books on you the next night.

It wasn’t “Grease 2” bad but it wasn’t “Young Guns” good, either. (Young Guns wasn’t that great.)

Overall, it wasn’t “Alright, Alright, Alright”- It was just, “Alright”

You can go watch it, and disagree with me, but you’d be wrong. Until next time.



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